I haven’t put enough thought into my first blog post here. I know how influential this first impression will be for developing a relationship with you, the readers. That’s what I am trying to accomplish, a relationship with readers. I want to share my experiences and grow with you by my side. Hopefully, this will be a mutual partnership and I will learn from you as well.
The reason I haven’t put enough thought into this blog post is because I use weed to solve every problem in my life. More on that at a later time. With weed as my pain killer/anti-depressant/anti-anxiety/anti-nausea/overall cure, I do end up spending significant amounts of my time sitting and thinking. I make plans and develop ideas. In the moment, these ideas and plans are the best ideas ever to exist, an idea that will save the world. Of course, they spontaneously disappear by morning, therefore, I haven’t been able to save the world just yet. This lack of world saving led me to start writing down these musings in my phone’s notes app. I have 37 notes saved and only one of them is technically significant, the address to my parent’s new house that I can never remember. I’ve decided that the other 36 something notes should be on the Internet.
Reader, why in the world would I think these random weed, fever dreams belong on the Internet? My answer is firmly, because I can. I am sure at some point I will write a post about my imposter syndrome and how I’m not letting it rule my life anymore. For right now, just know that I can write on the internet and I will. The last question is should I? Doesn’t matter, here we go!
I’ve collected a lot of junk from impulse purchases, ever since I was 16 and had my own checking account and job. I have no control over my spending, or that’s what it feels like. A great example of my weakness was I saw an ad on Facebook for a phone case from Kate Spade and I made the mistake of clicking on it. It was around $30, on sale from $45. First problem, it’s on sale, “I should get it!” echoed in my brain. Second problem, since I clicked the ad, it followed me all over social media. I’m addicted to social media but that is a whole story by itself. I saw this phone case over and over until I had to have it. It was a physical need. Now, it doesn’t matter that I already have two cases for this phone, and I won’t have this phone forever, I bought it. I had $33 in my bank account and the total ended up being $31. So, there you have it. I spent all my money on a phone case that I didn’t need. So, I had $2 for the next week until payday.
This was only in my one bank account. I have three. One that I use to pay my car loan and a credit card, it has -$177. A second one was an online savings account that turned into a checking account, that one had a whopping $0.82, but it was in the positive, right? Then the last account was with an online bank with “no overdraft fees”. Obvious by my first checking account, I have an issue with over drafting. So, my overall equity, not including debt, was -$174.18.
I was struggling, I couldn’t even say I was living paycheck to paycheck. I was living one overdraft fee to the next. I had a great job too. But the money I earned was like throwing a bucket of water on a burning nine story building. There was no one that could help me either. My credit score is 580 and I had no down payment, so loans and refinancing were out of the picture. As I write this, even though it’s in the past tense, I am currently living with it. I don’t see an out to this crushing financial situation.
All I could do was try my best day after day. I had to stop ordering food delivery and eating out all together. And sell my excess junk. Which leads me into what I’ve been working on for the last 24 hours.
This was a great start but I will have to see you in a week! Take care.
Lavender Skies 