Once I was invited by a person, I thought I was friends, to a pool party. I was so excited. This would have been a step up in our friendship and I was ecstatic. I went out the day of and bought a brand new bathing suit and sat by my phone waiting to hear from them to give me the details.
They never contacted me. I spent my whole day in a rejection sensitive brain fog waiting to hear from them. By sundown, I was devastated.
I finally contacted them and fucking apologized for not contacting them first. I was being so gentle with this relationship that I debased myself when it was their fault for inviting me then leaving me out. They downplayed the event, saying it wasn’t that big of a get-together and I didn’t miss much. I was so upset.
This got to me so badly, I ended up in a crisis. I believe this was around the time I fell and hit my head so I also blame that too, but I ended up in the psych ward. It was a perfect storm but this story still haunts me. I eventually gave up on that friendship and it absolutely ruined one of my hobbies.
This person is a huge influence on the hobby I used to love, they are impossible to avoid. So, I’ve completely given up this hobby. I had put so much time, effort, and emotional energy into this hobby and I lost a ton of friendships in giving this up. This person’s rejection wasn’t the only reason I gave up this hobby but it is a large part of it.
Maybe I’ll do more posts about why I hate summer but knowing me and my adhd, I’ll forget and never do another one.
Be safe and stay hydrated, dear reader.
Lavender Skies 