Since 1997, A CHRISTMAS STORY has played non-stop for 24 hours starting Christmas Eve.  

I would start my Christmas marathon of A Christmas Story on Christmas Eve by watching the first half of the first showing of the movie.  Trying to hear the audio between the enthusiastic shouting of my New Jersey family. We were in a cramped space that somehow fit around 17 people, mostly out of sheer determination and Christmas magic. All of us would try to have separate conversations that spanned distance and in full disregard of overlap. My aunt was the best at relaying her exact feelings, at the top of her voice, to my semi-deaf grandfather, from one end of the space to the exact opposite end. This would occur above all of our other conversations. The shrill emotionality of her frustration was exasperated by my uncle, her brother, taunting her about just about anything just to get a rise out of her. It was absolute chaos and I look back on my time with my family fondly. Even though I know at the time I was overstimulated and cranky. 

The next day, my immediate family would fly back to Ohio from New Jersey and at Newark Airport, I would get to see A Christmas Story in bits and pieces while waiting for our flight. It was a constant that helped comfort me when my immense social anxiety flared. The flight was only an hour and I would get super excited when we flew over the Cleveland skyline. 

When we finally arrived home, I always ran for my stocking first. My stocking would be filled with Malley’s candy and scratch-offs, basically the two things that make Christmas worthwhile for me. By this point, I had probably seen only A Christmas Story through once and some change. 

Shortly after I destroyed my scratch-offs, usually only winning $20, we would drive across town to see my other aunt and her family for Christmas dinner. She would make something great like ham or prime rib and the BEST mashed potatoes. Somehow, I would still fill up on chocolate and olives. I don’t know when it started, but black and green olives have been an appetizer of every family function for as long as I can remember. Then, to cap off the night, we would watch the end of the last A Christmas Story showing. All of this Christmas joy would happen within 24 hours. 

The movie, A Christmas Story, was the thread that connected my Christmas experience every year, the disjointed, multi-family, celebration marathon that it was. I waited until the last minute to enjoy this movie this year because I was afraid of my reaction. I knew I’ve been bottling all my emotions about this Christmas. I have to spend my first Christmas without my family this year because I have COVID. Instead of continuing to depend on my coping skills, I needed to process this change. It’s my hope that one person who may make it this far in my rambling and who has to celebrate the holidays differently this year knows that you aren’t alone and your feelings are valid, regardless if they are positive or negative. Christmas can be a wonderful time for some and I hope everyone finds a little happiness this year.